As I write this, there is a couple engaged in heavy petting behind my office building, in what appears to be an illicit relationship. How can I be so sure?

First, the man arrived in a truck, and parked in one of the least visible spots in the parking lot (though it's visible from my desk at work, which is where I am right now, happily spending part of my Saturday working for The Man). Curious to find out more, a co-worker and I looked for clues. No more than 30 seconds after the arrival of the man in the truck, we watched a small sedan (driven by a woman) zip right over to the same spot. She hadn't even stopped the vehicle when he opened his door and got out, and her car had barely stopped moving when he hopped in.

With no time to lose, they immediately got intimate (nothing raunchy, just lots of kissing and hugging). And when I say "no time to lose", I mean the guy got into her car, shut the door, and about one second later they were going at it.

Not convinced yet? Kevin, my co-worker, pulled up a website that lets you look up information by license plate. I read the plates on the guy's truck, Kevin looked up the info. Turns out that the truck is registered to Fritz and Debra (they have the same last name, but I don't want to print it here). Unfortunately, we couldn't find any info on the woman's vehicle (and thus cannot confirm her identity), but I'm extremely comfortable believing that she is not his wife Debra.